Inadequacies

Today I start work again :( Not thrilled, but this morning I got up and I started planning for my day/week. I did a lot of legwork over vacation regarding meals which helps but i couldn't help but think about how I'm going to get it all done? I have these freak out moments where all I can think about it is where I should be, how much I should get done, and how I shouldn't get distracted or fall off the workout/ healthy living/ clean house/ home cooked meal wagon.

      I went into straight panic attack mode, seriously. I looked around at a table that needed cleared and a carpet that needed vacuumed, and then i got my butt in gear. I made my way to the gym and did my cardio for the day. I got home with just enough time to cut up and season a roast for the crockpot. Shower? Nope. Scrubby clothes and off to the studio i go lookin' nasty and feelin' even worse. 

     As I was sitting there (working on was molds.... come on obv. multitasking) debating over how I was going to do this everyday for the next year I realized I won't. I won't always be perfect and I have to forgive myself not give up. I feel like this is so common for all women, especially those in their 20's and 30's who are juggling significant others, jobs, kids, and school... all while trying to fit in time for themselves. I'm not asking for a trip to the spa, just an hour where I don't feel overwhelmed with to do lists, projects, and guilt. It's my fault that I put so much pressure on myself... an many of those chores are self inflicted but I know my girlfriends do it too! Whether it be planning showers, parties, weddings, gym time, meals, soccer practices, plays, or your passion we are all on overload. I sit here writing this, and to be honest I feel guilty because there's a bed to be made and a piece of art that needs pumiced. 

     Let's talk about another elephant in the room. FB, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I love 'em all. Seriously addicted but sometimes I just have to shut it all off. The girl with the perfectly decorated house, the adorable kids, the PHDs, and the amazing outfits.... Hello instant insecurities.... We all put our good out there and keeping in touch with others is amazing, but I compare my worst day to everyone else's best! ( I only compare on the most horrible of days when all has gone wrong... a zit on my face, locked my keys in my car, fought with my bf kinda day... and I feel like no one's in my life and I'm failing.)

     My question to you is how do we do it? I am amazed by what I get done everyday and then the self doubt kicks in.  Does everyone else feel the same? I don't normally rant like this but today is just what seems to be the beginning of many daunting weeks of no free time.... What do you think? 

xoxo

me 

I think they call it a "Staycation"?

I have officially been off for 11 days straight. It's been phenomenal y'all. I mean seriously. Do I have to go back tomorrow? To answer that... yes, I do. But I've been slacken' a bit on the blogging.... But I've been uber productive... ok semi productive....  But i got a tan too! Fair warning. This is a kinda picture heavy post.

A little of taste of what I've been reading.... I see a theme. 

There was a sale :) 

I spent a large portion of my days canning, cooking, and freezing meals for the  next two weeks. Super pumped that I got everything we needed for less than 100 dollars! A whole bother post in itself! 

New VS Bikini. All while staying in budget! 

As some of you may remember I'm in a glass class. This is just something I'm working on!
PS. If I asked for pics from you get em to me!!! You'll get something out of it!! 

OOTD... The detail is not great but It's a sleeveless tank with sequin pockets and a cuffed sleeve. I wore Rock and Republic Skinny jeans and leather flips <--- All from kohl's... and a Michael Kors Watch and RiffRaff Bracelets. 

My baby boy 

Justin and I before Floating :) 

My mom and I 

Sharon and I... Girls night out always ends with retarded duck faces. And we may or may not be getting too close to 30! 

Walking with my boys tonight :) 

I had the most amazing vacay. I couldn't have asked for a better week hangin' out, relaxing, and getting stuff done. I'm counting down for all of the amazing weekends we have planned every month through the semester! This weekend I get to see one of my favorite girls in a musical, next week is hunting, and I'm kicking my cardio up to 1 hour a day before this wedding. :) Hope everyone is having a phenomenal summer! 

xoxo, 

me

Pinup Grandma

Just a little something I'm working on.... Photo of my late grandmother circa 1953 or 54? Just doing some imagery playing. Here's a test tile from a the piece :)

Hope you all are feeling just as productive as I am today :)
xoxo
me

Annual Autumn Lust

Is it wrong to dream of fall when we haven't even made it to August? Because I am day dreaming all about my annual pumpkin patch trip, pumpkin pies, carvings, and bonfires with some of our favorite people. I cannot wait to throw on a pair of boots and a flannel. Bite into my first s'more of the season. Crazy I tell ya because all I do during the school year is run run run. I work and I go to school and i do my art. Leaves time for little else.

Pumpkin Spice Baked Donuts 

Caramel Apple Cupcakes 

Pumpkin Truffles

Apple Cider Caramel Cookies
(Yummmo! Made these last year... amazing!)

 This past month I have done everything in my power to live life better. Given up drinking, taken on a whole 30 lifestyle, and started following.... gasp.....A BUDGET. Which I seem to be doing well at believe it or not! I'm super ready for school to start, it's my last year, I really want to continue on this road to better things, and I am so ready to move on to bigger better career choices. I can't help but be a bit nervous that I will slack off in all these new areas once I get busy! Are you guys ready to get rid of this heat????
xoxo
Me

Throwback and Busyness

I have been MIA for almost a week now. Fortunately it's because I've been doing AMAZING things. First... Whole 30. I have not had a carb or dairy product or processed item in 1 WEEK. Sugar... well that's another story. I've been having at least one piece of hard candy a day and I feel like I'm failing but then I remember what I used to eat everyday and I feel ok. Next month I don't plan on going back to my old diet. I plan to take out sugar, the only bit of processed food I have left in my diet. I feel amazing.  I think the worst is behind me. I don't know if I'm losing weight but I'm sure not gaining it. I will start cross fit next week!
Summer school has started. It could be a horrible thing but then again it could be art history. Instead it's a glass class focusing on imagery in glass. Summer school= class from 9 am- 1pm and then work from 4 pm-2 am everyday. Rough. I'm working with vintage family photos to put into my artwork.

A picture of my mom, her twin, and their brother.... Super cute. Being incorporated into a glass piece somehow this summer! (1964?) 

Found this while looking for other old pics. It's my Great Aunt Dorrie and I. 2000 

A picture I'm putting on a glass bottle this year.... Ive worked with it on photoshop and taken out all background. It's My grandmother at about 18? She died at the age of 28. I'm super excited to see how this piece transforms. 

Today has been a different story. Think uncomfortable. Ok so think about waking up unable to open your eye. Its all gross and gunky and its unbearable. I took a detour on the way to class to the eye doctor. Oh yea no big deal... Pink EYE. I'm 26 years old. I thought Pink eye was for 6 year olds. That's about how long it's been since I've had it. Anyways, they set me up with antibiotics and hopefully I am in the process of healing. Glasses and all.
Well tonight's movie night in with the babe. I officially start vacation on Saturday. Kicking off with a BBQ and a visit from my mom, and then Sunday my dad and stepmom will be down dropping off Dash their 4 month old Boston Terrier we will be watching for 3 days! Next weekend Justin and I will head down to current river with the fam for some quality time... super excited for the times ahead of us. Already dreaming of fall via pinterest!!!
xoxo
me

Whole30 Day1 Recap

So, I started the Whole30 yesterday. The whole30 is essentially Paleo without all the thought of Cavemen and such. They challenge us all to eat protein, vegetables, up to 2 servings of fruit, and good fats each day. No carbs, sugars, processed foods... essentially anything I was living on previously. I've been feeling lethargic and no matter how much I worked out I couldn't kick the weight I've gained recently. This is a journey in willpower something I've never been very good at.
So, Day 1 I woke up PUMPED to start. Ate 3 eggs over easy with enough leftover grilled zucchini, squash, onions, mushrooms, and peppers to fill up the remainder of my plate. Not 30 minutes later I had energy! It was amazing. I didn't feel like eating at 1230 but I forced myself as to get on some sort of a schedule. I had sirloin and raw green and red peppers. No need to snack after this... Felt full! The program says you may have a few cups of black coffee prior to lunch if you'd like but I opted out. I usually get my caffeine in the form of soda. Still holding out for the caffeine headache I knew was going to hit. For dinner we had grilled chicken, sweet potatoes, and sautéed peppers and onions. I prepared ground beef for tomorrows meals and felt satisfied all throughout the night. I noticed I was exhausted about 9:00. I'm never tired that early!!! A sign that hopefully I can make my internal clock work properly! And prior to bed the headache came on. I forced myself to sleep without medicine and I woke up today with energy and NO headache. Day 1. Successful.

xoxo
Lauren

Cookout time

I've been dreaming of one last day of yummy food. :) I start the whole 30 diet on July 5th so the 4th is my last day to splurge. I've been lusting after all things american and luckily J and I are hosting this year so I get to dream up the menu.

Homemade baked beans

Marinated Chicken

My Mom's homemade potato salad 

Kebobs

Americana Truffle Bowl 

Super excited for a fun day with friends. Too bad there will be absolutely not fireworks in our area due to the drought. :( Everybody do a rain dance for us here in this area....