Inadequacies

Today I start work again :( Not thrilled, but this morning I got up and I started planning for my day/week. I did a lot of legwork over vacation regarding meals which helps but i couldn't help but think about how I'm going to get it all done? I have these freak out moments where all I can think about it is where I should be, how much I should get done, and how I shouldn't get distracted or fall off the workout/ healthy living/ clean house/ home cooked meal wagon.

      I went into straight panic attack mode, seriously. I looked around at a table that needed cleared and a carpet that needed vacuumed, and then i got my butt in gear. I made my way to the gym and did my cardio for the day. I got home with just enough time to cut up and season a roast for the crockpot. Shower? Nope. Scrubby clothes and off to the studio i go lookin' nasty and feelin' even worse. 

     As I was sitting there (working on was molds.... come on obv. multitasking) debating over how I was going to do this everyday for the next year I realized I won't. I won't always be perfect and I have to forgive myself not give up. I feel like this is so common for all women, especially those in their 20's and 30's who are juggling significant others, jobs, kids, and school... all while trying to fit in time for themselves. I'm not asking for a trip to the spa, just an hour where I don't feel overwhelmed with to do lists, projects, and guilt. It's my fault that I put so much pressure on myself... an many of those chores are self inflicted but I know my girlfriends do it too! Whether it be planning showers, parties, weddings, gym time, meals, soccer practices, plays, or your passion we are all on overload. I sit here writing this, and to be honest I feel guilty because there's a bed to be made and a piece of art that needs pumiced. 

     Let's talk about another elephant in the room. FB, Twitter, Pinterest, and Instagram. I love 'em all. Seriously addicted but sometimes I just have to shut it all off. The girl with the perfectly decorated house, the adorable kids, the PHDs, and the amazing outfits.... Hello instant insecurities.... We all put our good out there and keeping in touch with others is amazing, but I compare my worst day to everyone else's best! ( I only compare on the most horrible of days when all has gone wrong... a zit on my face, locked my keys in my car, fought with my bf kinda day... and I feel like no one's in my life and I'm failing.)

     My question to you is how do we do it? I am amazed by what I get done everyday and then the self doubt kicks in.  Does everyone else feel the same? I don't normally rant like this but today is just what seems to be the beginning of many daunting weeks of no free time.... What do you think? 

xoxo

me